Whip it!

Hello!

So I've been doing pretty well this week and I'm actually looking forward to my monthly weigh-in! I hope so badly that the uptick was just a fluke. I was steady at 174, and then while I was eating normally and starting to exercise more, it went up to 177 again! I am really hoping that I was just retaining water or something. All those years I thought I was fat in the 140s and 150s, I never thought I would be excited to be in the 160s. I wish I appreciated what I had. But the good news for me is that I don't have any medical condition (other than "aging") that precludes me from getting back to that. Also, I remember that my diet was not restrictive at those weights, and that I could have what I wanted in moderation. If I could get to 130 like that, it would be ideal, but I am willing to settle for higher if it means a more relaxed lifestyle.

My personal goal is to be below 144, because that is the weight I would have to be at if I wanted to join JAG, an idea I've been toying with. Coincidentally, it's also the weight I was the day I got married. I was size 8 or could squeeze into a 6. I have a picture of me on my honeymoon, at a baseball game, wearing white pants and a tube top and looking very cute. The pants won't even come up my thighs now, but hopefully the weight will come off just by reversing the habits that put it on. At 130, I would be comfy in a 6 and could maybe squeeze into a 4. My new motto is not "I think I can" but "I CAN DO IT!" I just tell that to myself whenever I feel hopeless about the situation.

Exercise has been going better. I'm not sure if I mentioned this before, but the gym I had been going to went out of business in August. It was privately owned and felt like a spacious New York loft. The owner was always there and would greet me as I came in, asking me how I was doing, how bar study was coming along, and encouraging me that the I was in the right place and I would pass the test. It was never stuffy or overly air conditioned, just cooled by the ocean breeze. It had all the big screen and personal TVs my little ADHD brain could want. It was never crowded, the people who were there had good attitudes but pretty much left me alone. And it was three blocks away. Basically, it was the ideal place for me because it made me actually WANT to go. All the gyms in the area now are $65 a month and up, located near a crowded mall area, and are way too trendy for a square like me.

So, I got the Chuck Norris approved Total Gym and put it in the spare room. The older models go for about $300. For the most part, I really like it. I was able to find replacement exercises on it for all the stuff the free trainer session at the gym taught me. It's kind of fun, and it takes less time than weight lifting at the gym because you don't have to go to a new machine for each exercise. But, sometimes I like a little more energy, a little more pressure. I kind of like being in a gym with a bunch of guys and pretending that they are watching me to see if I will finish the set with good form. I like trying to run faster than the person next to me. What I do now is open the window and hope a neighbor walks by. Not quite the same, but it's something.

Also, my curvy hips and chest (even when I'm much thinner) appreciate the non-impact exercise an elliptical machine offers. Now my cardio options are pretty much limited to jumproping in the alley or going for a walk/jog. With all the stop lights around here, street cycling won't get my heart rate up. I'm afraid to ride fast on the boardwalk because one time some kids jumped out in front of me at a sandy spot and I almost fell off my bike trying to brake. Well, that and the pedestrians, who have their own sidewalk just a few feet from the bike path insist on walking on the well-marked "bike only" path in large groups and then looking at me like I'm the rude one for ringing my little bike bell to pass them. Grr. I usually only run on the treadmill, and only when I'm below 150 (so it's easier on my joints), but now outdoor running is pretty much what I have to do, and it's uncomfortable. My chiropractor, who's a marathon runner, told me that I should power walk with spurts of jogging until my body can handle more sustained jogging. I've never been very athletic, but I used to go to the gym very regularly, and it sucks to be in this position of starting almost from scratch. The good news is that with only 10 or so full workouts on the Total Gym over the last couple of weeks, I am already able to increase the resistance a notch and my husband is telling me I look more toned in my neck and arms. Yay for that! But I know that for me, it's the cardio that really helps me lose.

To encourage myself to do more cardio, I gave myself an incentive. I bought an MP3 player to replace the old one that died last summer. A lightweight 2GB one with a screen was only $30 on the Creative website, came with a sports armband, headphones, and a charger. So even though I'm almost broke, I figured it was cheaper than buying an elliptical. Hey, I'll get the elliptical when I get a job. And it's definitely cheaper than diabetes or heart disease, both of which run in my family and correlate with overweight-ness.