I think problems with my marriage have been undermining my weight loss efforts because sometimes I just feel unmotivated to do anything, like everything's too far gone. We are doing better, though, in part due to me taking an antidepressant. I was on Luvox without much success, and recently switched over to Celexa. It seems to be helping stabilize my moods. I don't get so angry or offended or hurt or despairing anymore. I feel like it's given me the ability to work through things more rationally, which is definitely a help to my marriage and my weight loss efforts.
Weight Watchers is great for the support and research that backs it, but I was getting frustrated with how slow my progress was. I fluctuated a little, but have very little to show for my months of meetings. Also, in any given week, I would forget to track foods at least 2 or 3 days, which is enough to stall the plan. On those days, I would typically eat and drink about twice my daily allotment. No wonder progress was so slow. Well, WW has another way you can go about your diet, and that is with filling foods. What I noticed right off the bat is that their "filling foods" program looks very much like South Beach Diet. These are foods that are not too high in fat, retain their natural fibers, and leave you feeling satisfied. So when I got back from vacation 4 lbs. heavier, I decided to switch over to "filling foods". I am doing this within the confines of South Beach Diet Phase 1. This is supposed to rid your body of the glycemic highs and lows that lead to carb cravings.
I did South Beach before, with great success, but didn't keep the weight off because I slowly backslid from the South Beach way of life. Also, I had bulimic episodes back then, and would sometimes eat off plan and purge it. So I never really gave the plan a chance to rid me of my carb cravings. I've been recovered from bulimia over three years now, and I think I can handle another try at South Beach, as long as I have accountability. Loved ones and medical professionals know of my past struggles, so I feel like I have the proper safety net in place to give this a go.
I started off last Saturday, back from vacation, at 188. Today I am at 182.5. One is supposed to lose 8-13 pounds on phase 1. From prior experience, I tend to lose more toward the 13 side. It might seem like a lot to lose 5.5 lbs. in 9 days, but I actually expected a little more. Well, turns out a low calorie beverage I've been enjoying about once a day actually has 35 calories of fructose (not HFCS, just regular fruit sugar) in it. Oops. Also, I enjoyed a few vodka-soda water drinks over the weekend. Those are off-plan, but I kind of felt like the weekend wasn't special without some kind of little treat. So I am not going to have any more of the low-cal beverage until I'm done with phase 1, and no more alcohol for the rest of the week (I only planned to have it on the weekend anyway).
Also, I started off last Saturday with a strong emphasis on vegetables, but then got tired of all the shopping and cooking, and reverted to mostly protein snacks. I'm sure I'll lose weight this way, because it sounds like the Atkins plan, but it is not a sustainable diet for me. I need to get used to buying and cooking my own meals, especially with vegetables, if I am going to keep this up for the long term. Part of Phase 1 is getting used to the basic foods of your new way of eating, before adding an apple here and brown rice there. Veggies have always been a struggle for me. Even ones I tolerate just fine, I seem to have some kind of mental block against cooking them up. Some kind of dread that reflects back to my childhood? Who knows. If I could afford it, I would get hypnosis to tell me I want to eat vegetables. For now, I'm going to try to have full meals in mind a day ahead, so I am prepared to cook and eat plenty of veggies.
