Thought about it…

I took a bath and thought about how I'm feeling and what I wrote, so time for a quick update.

My fifth wedding anniversary is in about 8 weeks. If I adopt the tough but realistic goal of losing 2 pounds a week, I can lose about 15 pounds by then. That would put me at only 10-ish pounds above my pre-unemployment weight (since I gained 30 but have already lost 4), which I can hide by dressing smart and using the right undergarments. I would be at 165 at that point. Until this year, that was my all-time high, so it's an important number for me. It's like coming back from the stratosphere and down to something that I've known and dealt with before. My anniversary doesn't seem so far away, and I was thrilled! to discover that I could get back to a manageable number by then. 185 felt unmanageable, and 181 still feels a little hopeless. But if I can get back to 165, I at least know I've gotten thin from there before.

Here's how I'm going to do it (pretty simply): I am going to stick with my Weight Watchers plan and track every bite, sip, and nibble. I am going to aim for the recommended amount of liquids, fruits, vegetables, and oils. No food is off limits, as long as I stay within my allotted number of points for the day. I am, however, going to try to avoid beer, as it makes me bloated and leads me to want to overeat. However, if I really crave one, it's after 6, and I have enough points to "afford" it, then I can still have one. Also, no more random swigs of wine or other drinks before 6. The reason for that is that a couple of times, I thought I'd just have a glass of wine with my late lunch, and then it relaxed me too much, and then I just kind of ate and drank and chilled the rest of the day. It's embarrassing for me to admit, but I have to cut out the denial if I really want to change, so there you have it.

Today, I'm having a sick day, but there are a few things I can still do. I can look up a Weight Watchers meeting for tomorrow to get me back on track. I can dig out my tracker and write what I ate for the past two days plus today. (I usually do my meetings and start my tracking on Saturdays, but I missed this week because of a graduation I attended, and then used that as an excuse to not track my points Saturday or yesterday.) I will immediately resume measuring what I eat and drink so that my tracking will be accurate. I will cut out the picture of the flat-bellied model that led me to all this reflection, and put it somewhere it can inspire me daily. I will walk slowly on the elliptical for as long as reasonably possible. And perhaps most importantly, I will keep knitting and cross-stitch projects by the TV so I have something to do with my hands besides mindless snacking.

I'm gonna do this!!!